NerdTopia Random Thoughts

A Nerd's Manifesto

(AKA: The ratings of an over-caffinated computer nerd)

To a nerd there are some inescapable truths. Facts that stand out to the nerd mind which go unnoticed by the uninitiated masses. For the rest of you I have compiled a list these items so that you may better understand that loved one with the pocket protector.

#1) You can never have a large enough hard drive or enough processing power - It doesn't matter that that you can run all of your programs at the same time. It doesn't matter that you can't see 200 frames per second or hear 512 bit sound. Nerds are explorers, we MUST push the boundaries. As George Leigh Mallory once said about climbing Mount Everest "Because it's there". Of course, George Leigh Mallory died on that mountain... Okay, maybe that wasn't the best example...

#2) Caffeine is grand, sleep is overrated - I couldn't tell you why nerds' best ideas come when they are half insane from caffeine and sleep deprivation. Maybe it has something to do with thinking "outside the box". More likely, it's because users don't interrupt our creative flow at 3am. Yeah, that's the ticket. Speaking of users....

#3) Users are like relatives - We love them dearly, we make resolutions to spend more time with them, but when we do it slowly chips away at our sanity. Why? Is it because they all want to change the way we raise our child.... I mean... uh... programs? Is it because they don't notice that menu we hand crafted for 15 hours or asked about that same feature for the 2,000th time but still don't understand that the program wasn't designed to do that? Or perhaps that they just might... MIGHT have the common sense to not fall for that phishing scam in the form of an email from a bank that they don't even have an account with? *breaths deeply*.. Nope, that can't be it, must be the computer nerd's fault. ;-)

#4) Video games are serious business - Yes, it's a game... we know that. Did you know that video games generate more revenue than the movie industry? Think about it, what do you spend your money on? Is it to pimp your car *NERD!*, is it to get that nice CD collection *NERD!*, and while we're at it, how much are you spending on clothes you don't need just to be fashionable this season? *NERD!* See, we've all got our weaknesses for material things, computer nerds have different tastes is all.  A good game can inspire a good programmer to be a GREAT programmer. It can be that escape where nerds are the overlords they were truly meant to be. Let us have our game systems and I won't talk about how much you spent on your dog fluffy last year.

#5) Nerds are cool - Not to over generalize, but have you tried to have a conversation with nerd? We know lots of stuff. Nerds are by definition information junkies. And it's not just computers we know about! We're wired to the latest and up to date inside scoop on any subject you can imagine. *and many you've never heard of* Most of the richest people on earth are Nerds. People with the coolest jobs are nerds. Nerds invented all the neat stuff. That monitor you're looking at right now? You guessed it, NERD powered!

Ugh... I need some more caffeine... I feel part II brewing, or it might be a bad tuna fish sandwich. One of those will be coming forth in the next couple of days.